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Managing the self-fulfilling prophesy

A recent article by American author and life coach, Cheryl Richardson, reinforces the importance of the way we talk to ourselves — and everyone else.

She was writing about using affirmations. Affirmations involve affirming something you want — it’s basically positive thinking. You might or might not be into that, but Cheryl is.

She’s also fond of deer, and she’d been complaining constantly that she never saw them around her property any more. 

Eventually she realised that complaining about not having an experience was no way to have it. 

Here’s my point: what comes out of our mouths and the way we talk to ourselves is hugely influential.

So many women regularly say things like: my balance is hopeless, my arms are so weak, look how fat my stomach is, I feel so old, etcetera… etcetera… etcetera.

Although none of those things is fixed, we fix them in concrete by saying them over and over. They become self-fulfilling prophesies.

Unwittingly we begin to think like people who have poor balance or are weak, fat or old. Then we act like we are that way. And tiny bit by tiny bit we head down the path we’ve made for ourselves.

It’s subtle and easy to do, but turning it around starts with paying attention to what we say, either silently or aloud.

If what we’re reinforcing is not what we want, we need to create what we do want. That means speaking like someone who has great balance, strong arms, a healthy middle, and youthful energy. 

Speaking and thinking like that kind of person is the first big step towards acting like it.

(Of course, the deer turned up after Cheryl affirmed that they would. That’s different from what I’m talking about though, because it involves something outside of ourselves. Affirmations aside, we mostly can’t control what goes on beyond us, but we can always be responsible for what we say to ourselves.)

Photo Source: Bigstock (P.S. That's not Cheryl in the photo.)

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Friday, April 27, 2018 | Rhonda Anderson